February 12th, 2009

number 25 on the fake ‘25 things’ i just blasted off on aim to my sister. admit it, you wish you had my mind.

25. i want to be this thing called a professor and i don’t really expect you to know what that is because let’s face it, you’re all below my intelligence level but really if you want to have a good time take some muxinex, because it makes your mouth and lungs taste like blood which is always refreshing. anyway, there was this one kid that went to school with me way back when, and he wore a coon-skin cap every day, and it was kind of off putting, and then later on there was this other kid who HOLY JESUS JELLY IS SO FUCKING AWESOME ate hot pockets pretty much every day during school lunch and i used to have a grey rubber wallet that was really bad ass but then i lost it at some point in time, i think when i lost my tan bag that was so cute and i keep seeing it in old pictures and get really really sad, plus that bag had my old american red cross blood card in it (i’m type a-, we’re more likely to be abducted by aliens) as well as other likely fun things but i’m thinking that i want to keep living in germany, instead of here, so that i can’t ever donate blood again - good excuse right? i hate babies. i’m anti-baby, not pro-choice. anti-anti-anti-baby. oh, there’s a treadmill in here too and sometimes my dad gets on it and wears a bandana on his head and it’s super silly, but not as great as the time i wore his old goalie mask and everyone thought i was being jason. i love popcorn and poland spring water and paper mario for nintendo sixty-four. OH AND MS. I HAVE 14 CHILDREN, WANT ALL THE EGGS IN MY UTERUS? I’ll get a hysterectomy, and you can have all the babies you want with my superior dna.