oh no megan!

The dichotomy is killing me.

In the hospital room where my Nanny ended up again last night. She isn’t doing well, and despite showing no signs of a stroke on her CT scan, there is very obviously something neurologic going on, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she passes before I leave the country or not long after. Mom and I pretty much just resigned to the fact that by the time I return in late summer, she’ll be gone. Hospitals are depressing places, everyone knows that. The newborn infant crying across the hall isn’t doing a thing to lessen such, as all I can do is think that that poor baby will have to grow up in such a harsh world. Seeing my mom this upset and out of it and empty is completely screwing with me. Seeing her sad makes me cry more than thinking about Nanny dying. I need to sleep. I need to shop. I need to do something.